Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Best Marriage Advice You've Got!

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This is a really important post... perhaps the most important post ever... but I don't have the text for it!

I need you!

I thought it'd be WAY cool to compile a list of ALL of the best relationship tips and advice from YOU and then make a post out of it.

SO! In the comment section below give me what you've got... what you've heard...  and what has worked for you in regards to a really GREAT relationship!

And if you'd like to get really fun and daring, you could pull out your picture box, dust it off and email in a wedding picture (or a photo of you and your man if you're not married, or just YOU if your rockin' the single life right now :) along with your tips. How FUN would that be?? I really hope some of you will do this because I would LOVE TO SEE your pictures! And I'd love to know how long you've bee together, too.

In the mean time, I'll come up with my best tips and post them next week with the rest of yours :)

Pretty please participate! I think this will be a super enlightening and FUN guide for all of us!

XOXO

**Email to jacyleeclemons@gmail.com


17 comments:

  1. If you are starting to think negatively about your spouse or your marriage, start thinking about the positive instead. Change the attitude to positive thinking and gratitude for the things that are good about that person or marriage. Works for me everytime!!

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  2. Along with what Lacey said above (which I agree with 110%), I would have to say that maintaining an attitude of thankfulness has been something that has helped tremendously in our marriage. Reminding ourselves to be thankful for the blessings that we have been given through our marriage keeps up from taking each other for granted - which is something I would like to try never to do!:)

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  3. OO I am loving this fun idea. My advice would be to find something active that you both love and do it together often. It gives you something you both look forward to and it is healthy :) For us, it is rock climbing.

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  4. Never leave or hang up the phone without saying I love you. It sounds simple, but if you start getting complacent in the little things, it's easier to stop doing the bigger things. It's especially important if you've just had a disagreement, saying I love you won't fix everything, but it's just a good reminder.

    Also, my hairdresser's best advice for me before I got married was to fight naked. It's a lot harder to yell at someone whose vulnerable because he has no clothes on, and you will want to get the fight over with because its just plain awkward haha. I can't say that I've tried this, but according to her, it helps haha.

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    Replies
    1. Is your hairdresser Nicole Eaquinto? She is my hair dresser and gave me the same advice!!!

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  5. I hope you won't take offense to this but my Dad gave me this advice, " out is not an option." I know and he knows there are exceptions to this but he said divorce ( an out) was not an option. I think his point was that in todays world there are too many easy outs. We go into every contract or decision in life looking for the " out" clause. His view was that Marriage and Family did not have an out clause. It just made me realize that I had better find a way to make things work becuse I am in this for better or worse. I hope you get the underlying feeling that marriage and family are the most important thing to the Lord and they are not to be taken lightly. I wouldn't "Divorce" my kids so I better be equally committed to my spouse. Again, I understand there are exceptions.

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  6. Don't make mountains out of mole hills.

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  7. I haven't been married long but we've weathered a few storms together and we're super happy! I'd say yes on the gratitude thing! Don't compare your spouse to someone else's be grateful for what s/he does every day and for the things that make your spouse unique. Whichever one of you walks through the door last should be welcomed with a hug/kiss...it makes my night when I'm the one and I race to the door when it's my husband. Kiss goodbye and good morning. Have something that is your thing...make it part of your routine. We have a nighttime routine(a board/card game or our Netflix show, brush teeth, prayers, cuddle/talk, fall asleep) and it keeps us close. Be verbal about your appreciation--including for the little things. Be verbal about your admiration/love. Say I love you as much as you can!!

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  8. Honestly, the best advice I got was to not take marriage advice from anyone. Let me explain :) Every marriage and every relationship is different. There is never one right way solve problems or make a marriage work. Phrases like "Make sure you do this..." or "Be sure to never..." is very subjective to individual relationships. I think the best way to make a marriage work is to know yourself completely and know your spouse completely. If you can do that, you will know what to say or what to do when problems arise because you know yourselves. It will be easier to pinpoint where you went wrong or what you did right.
    What works for others might not work for you, and then you'll be frustrated. Marriage is a journey and hard work. Work together to figure out you two work together.

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  9. The best piece of advice I got before we were married was from my Stake President. He sat us both down as a couple during our temple interviews and told us that it was good (healthy even) to have arguments and disagree with one another. At first I thought he was nuts! I didn't think I would ever disagree with the man sitting next to me. But we soon came to realize after a few months of marriage how inspired that statement was for us as a couple. You come to realize after the dating and engagement is over that you are two completely different people, with two different backgrounds, different traditions, and different ways of doing things and it's HARD to try and mesh the two personalities together. You do not agree on everything 100% of the time like you try to do when you are in the beginning stages of a relationship. We've never had a screaming match but we have definitely had times when we do not agree. But in the end, those arguments have helped to strengthen our marriage more than anything else. During those arguments we end up thinking more about our spouse than ourselves because we have to think about their side and come up with a compromise/solution. It's in those moments that I realize just how much I love him and that I am willing to work through anything to stay in a loving marriage with him. Some people may disagree but I think it's ok to argue. It's ok to express what you are feeling and be able to let it go. We have found in our three years of marriage that sometimes we argue because we misunderstood what the other was saying. For that reason my husbands favorite quote is, "Miscommunication leads to argument." He repeats that to me ALL the time!

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  10. I just had to add one more. I work with a lot of women/go to church with a lot of women that like to talk openly about their husbands flaws. I was told by my mom that I shouldn't say bad things about my husband to others. It makes a difference. I know that because when I have started to join in with the "Oh, I know...it's so annoying when_________" conversations, it makes my heart feel less full and less full of that love that I feel constantly. I'd say that makes a big difference. I subscribe to a really fun blog it's www.happywivesclub.com. I love it because it's full of such positive outlooks on marriage/spouses.

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  11. Remember why you married him! And... Date night. I didn't realize the importance if this advice until after our babe was born, but go on dates and celebrate things. We had been married almost 2.5 years, both cars were broke down, the baby was sick, school was overwhelming and my husband had just lost him job. I was crying to my mom and she came over with a cheesecake and bottle of sparkling cider, took home mysick babe and told me to celebrate that life sucked. So we did. That advice was the best i have ever gotten. We laughed so much that night and it made everything seem better. Life still sucked, but taking my moms advice to celebrate made everything seem ok, even for just a few hours. :)

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  12. I know you & your man are Awesome at communicating, it's something I really admire about your relationship. However, a lot of young, new couples tend to kind of avoid the hard topics. I'd say don't be afraid to talk about things...especially money. I hear statistics about how many divorces are caused by money problems and can't help thinking that so much of that could be helped if couples are willing to just talk about it. Especially/even when one partner is the main source of income or main money manager, it's still important for the other partner to know what's going on, what the budget is, what the bills are, etc. so they feel involved, one doesn't end up resenting the other or overspending, etc. That's why we call it "partners" in marriage! :D I know it's not a fun or sexy piece of advice (like fight naked ;) but marriage and life come with enough problems without adding money problems to the list.

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  13. Best advice after more than 37 years of marriage? Remember that any job you do once will become 'your' job forever, so think carefully about what you want to take on. ;)

    It may seem overly simple, but makes a huge difference in the division of labor that occurs in a happy marriage.

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  14. I am a newlywed (almost 2 months) so I don't have much advice, but this post by A Blog About Love really stuck with me before I got married and I made a point to remember it and keep that attitude: http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/2012/10/dirty-socks-smacking-lips.html
    Hope that helps!

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  15. I agree with Sharlee's comment.

    I had a coworker I carpooled with that would trash talk her husband the whole 40 minutes to work and back. I usually remained silent the whole time because I didn't want my husband to be portrayed in a different light. My husband is great, but I realized it was really impacting how I felt the spirit and viewed our marriage (besides it gave me a really horrible way to start and end my day of teaching!). I found a way to get out of the carpooling situation, but it made me think a lot about how people talk about their spouses.

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