Wednesday, January 15, 2014

A Wig and a New Stomach





























Over the holiday, Seth asked Little Dude what he wanted to get me for Christmas.

This was Little Dude's reply:

"Well..." as he tapped his index finger on his cheek "what doesn't mom like about her body?"

He stood there for a minute, thinking.

"Let's see.... she doesn't like her hair and she doesn't really like her stomach either! Maybe we should buy her a wig? What do you think, Seth? Oh! I know! How about a new stomach? What else doesn't she like about herself?"

Obviously, and thankfully, Seth diverted his attention from all the negative body image talk and they opted for a massage gift card instead.

However, later, when Seth told me of this little encounter, I may have let out a forced light chuckle because it seemed sort of cute, but in all reality, my heart just sank.

This is not okay.

My 5 year old son thinks that I don't like myself!

So much so that regardless if I expressed distaste for my hair or stomach (or whatever else) just one time, or a million times, made no difference; he wanted to help me fix the things I didn't like about myself for Christmas. That's what he wanted to gift me.

BIG FAIL ON MY PART.


He heard the words from my mouth, he stored them into his brain, and he most likely believed what I was saying about myself because, well, that's what kids do.


Why is it so easy to get hyper-focused on everything we aren't, rather than what we are?

Why, after all this time, am I still overly conscientious about my stomach not being flatter, myskin not being flawless or my hair not being thick and dreamy?

Why do I say negative things about myself out loud? I must be thinking them an awful lot if I'm saying them, right?

Why is it so hard to accept and love me for me?

Why do I think the grass will be greener on the other side? If I was this or that, I would be happier?

There are times I think I'm doing better and am thriving in my own skin-- and then my almost 6 year old reminds me that I have a whole lot of work to do.

I know I am not alone in this inner fight with myself.... but surely there are some of you that are better at it than I am...

What are your secrets? How do you love and take care of you? Do you think positively of yourself? If so, are you able to speak positively of yourself? Or do you find yourself always making remarks/excuses that shut down compliments and/or belittle you.

It's a new year... and I'm really trying to improve my self worth and be an overall better example to my Little Dude. Any thoughts would be so appreciated ;)

Image Credit


8 comments:

  1. Lady, my stomach is my "problem" area. My entire life-- it's where I gain weight. I always thought it was SO UNFAIR that other gals gained weight in their hips, butt, and thighs, because just throw on a skirt and you're covered. EVERYONE can tell when you carry weight in your stomach. I had this epiphany when I was out on a run after having my third (and still with considerable jiggle in my middle)-- what would be different if my stomach were flatter? I'd still go running. I don't run to look a certain way-- I run because it makes me happy. I'd still play with my kids-- that has nothing to do with my stomach. My husband would still love every piece of me-- that isn't dependent on what size waist I have. So what would be different? The only thing would change is that my stomach would be flat. That's it. And to me, that was SUCH a silly thing to spend so much time beating myself up over, especially since the way my body distributes weight, and because I want more babies, I will probably NEVER have a flat stomach. So I'm going to hate myself and shame myself over something that won't affect any of the good parts of my life? Nope. Not anymore.

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    1. What a great thought process. THANK YOU Keighty ;)

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  2. My husband and I have been complaining around our grandkidlets that we are getting OLD. My husband's Birthday is January 1st. When our daughter was passing his Birthday card around to her children to sign, it looked like he was writing a lot for an 8 year old. When my husband opened his card, Cole had written..."hope you don't die soon!" I guess we need to be careful what we say around the grands!!! lol Love your posts...Nancy Rogers

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    1. Hi Nancy! This is hysterical! I love the innocence of children ;) A birthday card that will never be forgotten! :)

      Welcome here... I hope you'll stick around because I love new friends!

      XO

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  3. Anytime I hear someone including my husband being rude or critical of him I say "Hey please be nice to my Honey". And it wasn't long before he started saying it to me when I was being overly critical of myself. It was good to have the physical reminder as I didn't even notice I was doing it before then.

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    1. I know, right? I think I do it subconsciously- without even thinking. I just say things to say them... I don't know if I mean them (like really REALLY mean them?) or is it just a bad habit that I've had for the last 15 or so years?

      This is a great idea, too ;) Reenforcing positivity. I like it!

      Thanks for sharing.

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  4. Your post made me think of step six in the healing through Christ manual where it talkes about having disatisfaction for or ourself or distaining ourself. Distaining isn't good for us but dissatisfaction can help us change. I think it doesn't mean we don't like ourselves. It just might mean we want to change something.

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  5. I tend a sweet 2 year old girl. One day while I was distracted doing my own things, I overheard her as she twirled in front of my full length mirror and said "Wow, just look at that beautiful woman in the mirror!" My immediate thought was that she had heard her mother say that (where else would it have come from?)- isn't that so fabulous! A sweet little 2 year old had heard her mother say that often enough, and with enough conviction, that she repeated it. How fabulous for her own body image!

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