Wednesday, May 21, 2014

FIGHT FOR LOVE!






























I made it back from D.C., the End Sexual Exploitation Summit, and let me tell you something… it was incredible.

Incredibly hard.

Incredibly dark.

But let me tell you something else… it was also incredibly empowering.

Incredibly healing.

Incredibly beautiful.

Men and women from all over the nation, and many parts of the world, joined together for the common good, for the GREATER GOOD, to fight sexual exploitation and all of its roots. Men and women of all different faiths and political beliefs, scholars, experts, doctors, lawyers, scientists, and in all different areas of concern, came together to fight for goodness.

Truthfully, more than anything else, I'd like to say that we fought for LOVE; to rebuild LOVE.

***

When I arrived in D.C. late Thursday evening, I sat in the airport for over an hour waiting for my shuttle to arrive. A beautiful woman, with the most genuine smile on her face, greeted me. She was headed to the same place I was. The Summit.

I asked her which organization she was with.

She timidly told me she was speaking.

"Oh! Wonderful! What will you be presenting on?" I questioned.

"I'm a survivor." She said nervously. Her voice shook.

My heart froze.

Her answer took me by surprise and I inconspicuously gulped.

Here stood a woman who had experienced the brutal, physical, violent, SLAVERY side of this whole thing.

She had lived it.

I immediately hugged her. We sat in the airport and we cried together. She told me her story- one that very few people had ever heard before. And yet, there she was. Bravely. Beautifully. Boldly. She was there to share her scary reality, one that still haunts her to this day.

And this was the most defining moment for me, one that set the tone for my visit to D.C.  It all became even more real than it had ever been before. As I sat and held hands with a survivor of pure hell, trafficked into sex slavery and being drugged, abused and filmed against her will, everything I knew was confirmed:

Porn kills love.

And that is why we were all there. To fight for LOVE.

I wish I had everything that was said to share. I wish I would have taken better notes. I wish you could have all been there with me. I wish I had more time this morning to gather every ounce of resources that were shared. But for now, this will have to do.

If you haven't already….

1) Get filters on your computers! 

As Gail Dines said in her opening presentation, it would take 10-15 minutes of navigating around to actually find "soft porn" on the internet.

10-15 minutes!

This means that if your child curiously/innocently wants to search for "boobs", or types the wrong word in the search bar (boyz vs. boys), he/she won't find "soft porn". Infact, the top 3 results will be violent, degrading, and hardcore pornography. It's called gonzo and it's really horrific. I don't remember the exact examples Gail used in her keynote (I didn't really want to write them down to be honest) but I know one titled read "Choke me and fu** me".

My stomach felt queasy when she read the top results. Forget prancing around the subject delicately. She was saying it like it was.

This is what our children are being exposed to. They're not going to find the patience to click around and find what is considered "soft porn", they're going to click on the top. And this what their innocent eyes will see. "Fu** me and choke me." For many, this is their initiation into sex, this is what they think sex is or what sex should be. A sobering reality. One that is hard to fathom,  one that makes me terrified to be raising children in this day and age.

So start protecting your home and your beautiful children by getting a filter on your computer.  

Go to *Net Nanny* and sign up today! 

They're awesome! I have personally worked with Russ Warner (the owner) and he is offering a 20% discount to anyone who signs up through my blog (offer expires September 30th, 2014)

How awesome and generous is that? 

Use the word "JACY" in Net Nanny's promo code and you will get 20% off!

And you can share this promotion with anyone and everyone-- so spread the word! Let's make our computers a SAFE place that can be used for GOOD!

That's the starting place.

Then…

2) Talk about it! 

Talk to your children, your spouse (wife or husband), your family members, your friends, your neighbors about the reality. Don't think that it's too dirty to talk about, or too uncomfortable. That's the whole problem… with this whole thing…. No one is TALKING about it and yet, IT IS EVERYWHERE.

Gail also talked about how these 3 A's are the components that are leading to an ensnaring trap; one that is destroying the lives of too many men, women and children.

a) Affordability
b) Accessibility
c) Anonymity


These 3 A's are killing us and like Dr. Doug Weiss said:

"You can't heal unless your secret is out." 

This applies to all of us: addicted, tempted, struggling, using or none of the above.

Because NONE of us can heal, or protect ourselves if we keep pretending that it's not happening, or it's not that bad. Start talking about what healthy sexuality *IS*, instead of avoiding it and hoping everyone around us just figures it out. Get the dialogue rolling with your children, young and old. Ask the hard questions.

A dear friend of mine, Mrs. Melody Bergman has been working so diligently with Morality in Media to create website with almost everything you need to get the facts, find resources, and start making a change.

It's called:

http://endexploitationmovement.com

Please check it out! Please check it out! Please check it out!

This is the place where you can find everything to help you FIGHT FOR LOVE.

L: Me M: Shelley Lubben, a former porn star, founder of Pink Cross Foundation  R: Melody Bergman




















***

This is just a short and sweet recap of my experience in D.C. It was life changing for me. Eye-opening. Heart-wrenching.

But there is hope. There is light. There is love.

It was nothing short of an honor to be there.

It was also humbling and wonderful that of the 200 guests in attendance, all working to do good, Togetherness was selected to be one of 5 organizations from around the country to be highlighted in front of everyone. I nearly slipped on the stage as I walked up (woopsies! :) but what a marvelous experience it was to bring to light, to the BEST in the world, the work we are doing to help women heal.

I still cannot believe how much my life has changed in just one short year; how much is truly possible if you put your heart and mind to something and go for it.

After being highlighted, I returned to me seat and within 20 minutes 4 different women approached me. They, too, had felt alone and hopeless as they dealt with the pain of someone's addiction/infidelity. And that is why I do what I do… this is why the Togetherness team devotes HUNDREDS of hours… so that we can give back…. because there is community, there is hope, and there is love.

This is also message I was able to share in an interview/PodCast with Matt Fradd, as well. (I'll let you know when that goes live so you can all hear :)

But we've got to start TALKING about it and being HONEST about it, first.

My heart is full for the enlightening weekend.  Thank you again Patrick Trueman, Dawn Hawkins and everyone at Morilty in Media for believing in me.

Morality in Media's very own, Dawn Hawkins





I WILL ALWAYS FIGHT FOR LOVE!
www.togethernessproject.org

5 comments:

  1. This gives me the chills. This is AMAZING!!!

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  2. Wow, I got chills too. This is INCREDIBLE. It really shines light on just how powerful your efforts are. Everyone grouped together and working for such an endeavor. I really believe with all that is bad, there is a greater force for good. And you are one of them.

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  3. Thank you Jacy for having the guts to start this group. I am amazed at all that you do, in spite of all that you have been through. Now that you are "past" your horror, the fact that you constantly try to help others dealing with their own version is amazing. You are a strong example for us and a great reminder that we CAN get through this.

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  4. Beautiful write-up, girl. And thanks for the shout-out. :) LOVE YOU! ~Melody

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  5. I do talk with my children about this stuff often. I also just put some internet controls on the computer. Thanks for reminding me/us. This is something that is easy to not take too seriously. But I do know, too, that it is WAY too easy to come across mind poison. We do need to have our guards up and be diligent in our efforts and love.

    <3

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