Sunday, June 15, 2014

Thoughts for a Step Dad on Father's Day

Two years ago, I wrote this little tribute to my Dad on Father's Day. Since the time of writing those words, nothing has changed…. not one thing… except that my love for him has grown even more. I didn't know that could even be possible, but it's true. I honor my dad even more today than I did then. I feel blessed beyond measure to have my dad in my life; not only as a father figure, but as one of my very closest friends.

Dad, if you are reading this… I love you… so much… You are the best daddy in the whole wide world.  I sent you a card in the mail, but it'll be late :)
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Today, I also celebrate a different kind of dad (one that I don't think gets a whole lot of credit); the step dad. 




















This is a very special role (one that I had never given a moment's thought about, until it had become part of our life).

The other night, Seth and I sat under the stars of a little Italian restaurant with our friends (she has three children and he has taken the role of step-father). As we talked about everything under the sun, we also discussed how it's not easy being a step-parent. It's not easy coming in mid-game and trying to find your place, your balance, your role in it all. It's not easy figuring out how to parent another person's child, especially when you've never had kids of your own.

My heart bursts with joy whenever I see Little Dude and Seth in the backyard playing catch, or pulling weeds together out front, or skateboarding in the culdesac.

Tears welled in my eyes when after a year of Little Dude calling Seth "Seth" he one day, out of the complete blue, walked over to him, hugged him and said "Goodnight Dad… I love you!"

I'm at peace and feel so much comfort when Little Dude tells people with PRIDE that  he has "two moms and two dads and a lot of people who love him."

Blending a family is a hard gig… and sometimes it can be a deal breaker for many people… But it's not for us…. it just is. And it's working so naturally and wonderfully and we are taking it one day at time. But it is HARD WORK. And that is why those moments, the ones that melt our heart and seem too good to be true, those are what keep everything afloat…. those moments are the moments we look forward to and cherish…. those moments give us all a sense of peace and hope and love… those moments generate sincere smiles and grateful hearts for one another and the roles we play in each other's lives.

Being a step dad takes no ordinary courage.

I have witnessed Seth sacrifice so much for the Little Dude. He knew the moment he married me that life as he knew it would be over. Gone are the days of quiet nights, a kid-free house and the ability to uproot and just go and do whatever. Instead, Seth willingly signed up for becoming an insta-dad, Kindergarten projects, homework, reading chapter books, baseball and soccer practices, super heroes, school talent show auditions, time out chats, goldfish crumbs, a sticky backseat of his car, and cartoons instead of Major League Baseball. His Saturday's (what were once golf and leisure) are now spent kneeling down in the outfield and coaching Little Dude while he plays left field in the t-ball game.

Being a step dad takes no ordinary love, either. Because falling in love with me also meant loving and being committed to my son, too. This has, hands down, been the sweetest evolution I have ever witnessed in my life time. So tender. So priceless.

Thank you for being brave and delicate in a situation that most definitely has its hard parts, Seth. A role that doesn't get much credit, your patience, sacrifice, love and support makes our world a better place. 

We love you! 


And a big HUGE Happy Father's Day to all the step dads out there today!


XOXO

6 comments:

  1. I'm a new reader jacy. This post was so beautifully written! What a beautiful family you have and little dude is so lucky to have so many people in his life who love him. Keep up the incredible work! You are helping so many more people than you will ever know.

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    1. Welcome here Amy! I am so appreciative of your kind words. I am eager to get to know you better :)

      XOXO

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  2. I wish I could say all the right things like you. Can I just start telling you what I want to say and you can just write it out for me? I like how you say it best! Yea for AMAZING "fake" dads! Hehe...that's what my kids call my husband, in an extremely loving way! :)

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    1. I just adore you Becky! :) That is all.

      Lots of love!

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  3. Wonderful!! And I absolutely love that picture <3

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  4. So grateful my kids' "step-dad" has taken on the role of being Dad and adopting them! By the way, Jared was watching over my shoulder while I was reading this and saw the picture of Seth. He said, "I know him"! I said "that's Seth Boyack". He said "yeah, I know him somehow but I can't remember how"! Ask Seth if he knows Jared Sampson, he's with Davis County Sheriff's Office if that helps. Crazy small world! :)

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