Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Third Trimester and Believing in Myself

It has been a WILD 6 months to say the very least.

And the month of January!? CRAZY!

I was sent to the ER a few weeks ago because my OB thought I had pneumonia. Freaked me right out! Nearly 4 weeks later, and a diagnosis of Bronchitis, I am FINALLY kicking it. So, that's good :)

This pregnancy has also been rather tough on me. I don't know if it's because I'm older? Or if every pregnancy is really that different? But wow! It's been hard. I don't remember ANY of this in my pregnancy with Little Dude. I suppose 7 years is a long time.

But the craziest part is that we will be meeting our LITTLE BOY in just 12 short weeks! We can't wait! Poor Little Dude wanted a sister SOOOOOO bad… but I told him we are grateful for whatever we are blessed with. He was a champ when the ultrasound tech pointed out the penis between the legs :) and I honestly think he'll LOVE having another brother to care for. (His other bro is in Utah.)




























So! Time is FLYING. And I'm not ready in the slightest.

You see, when I got a divorce, I got rid of everything babyish. And I mean everything! I just didn't see myself getting remarried, let alone having children, anytime soon… so instead of finding a place to store everything during that CRAZY time in my life, I just gave it to those who needed it. Which means that, now, we are starting over from scratch! It's fun and it's scary and it's everything in between because...

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH A NEWBORN! 

Aaaaaahhhhh!

I keep being told that my motherly instincts will kick in again-- that it will all come back to me….

I'm not so sure… haha… So much so that I not only signed Seth and I up for Prenatal Class, but a Baby Your Baby class… you know, everything you need to know about how to care for a newborn. I am really looking forward to this class because I am going to need all the help I can get :)

But all the nervousness and anxieties aside, it really is so incredible. Feeling this life inside of me… knowing that this baby was created from love… knowing that he will be born into so much love… we are all very, very, excited and we feel so blessed because this baby represents so much to us. I'm sure we all have different ideas/thoughts about what he means… but to me… this little fella represents trust and courage… love and commitment… and the unbelievable opportunity we all have to pick back up, to dust off, to keep on trekking, and to find happiness again, no matter what comes our way.

And he also represents BELIEVING. Believing in love again. Believing in goodness again. Believing in happiness again. And most importantly, believing in myself again. Believing that I can do it.

It's pretty amazing.

Honestly, it feels like this baby is our little miracle and I am SO excited for him to get here!

But for now, I am trying to relish every kick and jab from him... Even in the middle of the night when he's keeping me awake-- wide eyed and bushy tailed-- I love the little parties we have together :)

*I hope you're all doing well and I know I say it all the time… but I love this community of people… you're the greatest! Oh, and I tend to be a little more active on my Instagram so if you're on there, I'd love to get to know you better and you'll see more active posts from me there :) (mynameisjacy is my profile name)

xoxo

3 comments:

  1. Girl, I can so relate!!! I did the same thing after my divorce. I gave all but her crib and high chair away. I had planned to turn her crib into that bench I've seen floating around Pinterest, and then I just loved her high chair. It had been given to us and it folded completely flat and had a storage/carrying case. Loved it!! I figured even if I never had kids again I could still use it when babysitting. And my first daughter is 8 years older than my newborn. Definitely felt like being a first-time mom all over again. Scary. It had been a long time since I had ever really even HELD a newborn, let alone taken care of their basic needs. And breastfeeding in the beginning hurts so much more than I remember! Thankfully, we're past the tender and sore nipple phase. The pregnancy was a lot harder too. So many more aches and pains. It was unreal. I went without pain meds the first time. Tried to do it this time, but the contractions seemed SO much stronger. I gave in. So, yeah... I totally get it. Hang in there though. I hope you get to feeling better and that you stay healthy. I was coughing when I delivered. Coughing during contractions is no bueno. lol I wish you the best!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Every pregnancy really is different! And I really think getting older factors into it A LOT. My first child was born when I was 30, and my second when I was 33. Both were SO painful and SO miserable! UGH!! I hope things go more smoothly for you! So excited for your little family! :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Um, it's kind of freaking me out that LD is going to be SEVEN!?! Holy cow!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...