Wednesday, August 26, 2015


Do you live far away but want to come to this fall's Togetherness Conference?

I'm thrilled to announce that a very special and generous person within our community has donated 2 ROUND TRIP AIRFARE VOUCHERS through JET BLUE! This means that 2 women can attend the Togetherness conference in October who would otherwise be unable to attend due to airfare costs

To enter this truly special giveaway:

1) Check and make sure the vouchers are redeemable from your city (by looking here: to Salt Lake City over the weekend of our conference (event is October 17th).

2) Email us at with the subject {JET BLUE GIVEAWAY} and tell us what it would mean to you to attend our event.

3) All applications must be received before midnight on September 1st and winners will be announced via email on Tuesday September 2nd.

**Giveaway applies to JET BLUE AIRFARE VOUCHERS ONLY. Togetherness conference tickets, hotel accommodations, rental cars, etc. are NOT included and are the responsibility of the individuals. All flight details should be worked through Jet Blue and Togetherness Project is not responsible for any issues/cancellations with Jet Blue.**

Tuesday, August 25, 2015


So, my husband, Seth, is the lead man in a RAD band called


and they have just released one of their songs, "For The Cause", before their debut EP comes out next month!

Listen to it HERE!

And follow their band page on Facebook HERE if you're into it!

I love this for so many reasons… not only because it's actually GOOD music, but because it is proof that DREAMS can come true for those who show up, WORK HARD, and never EVER give up! Getting into a recording studio with the right people has been a very real goal of Seth's for the last 10 years… and it has taken so much persistency, determination and setting daily goals to get to this point.

I am so very proud-- he inspires me to always GO BIG!


Monday, August 24, 2015

ILLUME LIFE with Jacy Boyack

Okay you guys! I'm going to shoot it totally straight right now. 

It seems like blogging has maybe, kind of, sort of, hit this rough patch? Or at least it seems that mine has? ;) Anyone agree with this? Like, it seems people aren't really interacting on blogs anymore, no? Or am I way off?

What's the change? I mean, I'm guilty of it too. I don't read nearly as many and I don't comment like I used to and I know I haven't been the best blogger either. Since getting preggo… and having a NEW BABY… and planning Togetherness…. and trying to jumpstart my life coaching business…. it was like, WOAH!  This blog hit a BIG rough patch :(

Anyway, it seems to me like the party has made a noticeable shift from Blogging to Instagram… and Facebook, too. So… because of that, I am putting on my polka dot party hat and inviting you to join me there.

If you're still a reader (THANK YOU IF YOU ARE STILL HERE ;), don't worry! I will still post here... but I just want to invite you to follow me on the other social media spots, too :).

So, follow follow me on Instagram and on Facebook, OKAY!? But you should know of a little (BIG) change…

My Name is Jacy's Facebook Page is now called "ILLUME LIFE with Jacy Boyack" as that is my new life coaching practice's name :) 

I posted this little blip on my personal Facebook account tonight to explain the change:

"As many of you already know, I'm finding myself on a new and very exciting journey as a LIFE COACH ( is my new site... hooray!) After my world flipped upside down over 5 years ago, after fighting desperately for my own healing ever since, after sharing the challenges and triumphs of my story through hundreds of blog posts on (as well as the stories of 50 INSPIRING WOMEN in the "My Name is" Series), after the hard, yet rewarding, work I have done (and will continue to do) in building and running The Togetherness Project, after hearing from, connecting with, and being enriched by hundreds and hundreds of different women since opening up about my life struggles, becoming an Arbinger Trained Life Coach is where I have been led. An evolution that is both awe-inspiring and humbling, both intimidating and beautiful, and both scary and just. plain. awesome. all at the same time! I get to give back on an even deeper level- giving more of my heart and in return, getting more one-to-one time to be with (and to learn from) the resilient women who are giving me the special opportunity to be part of their journey. So I write this tonight to ask for your help. In effort to build my "Coaching Practice" or "brand" or whatever you call it, it would mean so much to me if you would "LIKE" Illume Life with Jacy Boyack Facebook page ( because I am currently working on melding my personal and professional pages together so that I can simplify and reach more people, on a more professional level. I will begin posting on that page much more consistently and I will share all of the same things as before 
smile emoticon
Thank you for your love and support. Truly. I have felt it time and time again and I am so so grateful. I wouldn't be where I am today without the people in my life. So thank you."

So, "My Name is Jacy" will now be "Illume Life with Jacy Boyack" on Facebook. I hope that's okay and that you'll still want to be part of what it is I'm doing :) 


Come See Me at the Building Strong Families Conference in AZ!

To all Arizonians:

I will be presenting along side renowned sex addiction therapists and other inspiring individuals at this FANTASTIC conference in September:

My class is titled

"Rising Above Betrayal Trauma: How I Survived and What I'm Doing Now" 

Register here:

Please COME, attend my class and say hello to me afterwards!


Thursday, August 20, 2015

Furthering My Personal Healing

Last night, as I was reading about this Ashley Madison thing, I felt sick for the many hearts and lives that were crumbling because of it, and I also felt this sting of adrenaline come over me. My heart raced as I pulled up the site that would be my fate: the one that would confirm which of the people I lived amongst, loved dearly, or associated with in some way were living a dual life. I wondered who could be on there? And I knew I could play detective if I really wanted to. But in just a split second, I had a new perspective. As I sat there, with the computer on my lap, the site pulled up, my fingers ready to type in the emails of people I knew, I looked at my current husband across the room, my baby rolling on the floor, my 7 year old at the table doing homework and I thought, "How is digging into the past, or trying to dig up someone else's current trial furthering me in my my personal healing?"

The answer, for me, was a whisper.

A truth.

An affirmation.

"It won't. Nothing you find here will help with your healing. At all. In fact, it will cause you to spiral back into fear, pain, panic and anger. To a place you are working SO diligently to get away from."

So while there is this incredible push of curiosity that lies before me, I, instead, will make the deliberate choice to use my time, energy and talents to further my personal healing TODAY. And although it is very tempting, Ashley Madison digging will not give me that result.

Now I'm not saying that there wasn't a time, or won't be a time in the future, that it IS relevant (because when you're concerned about your safety or the wellbeing of your family, that comes first... ALWAYS!). But as of right now, because I am not at that place in my life, I don't need the information,  nor do I need to go playing detective on every person I've ever known in my life.

Rather, I will be waiting for the women, if any, who unfortunately DO discover more from this leak and come to me for a listening ear, a place to belong, or a shoulder to cry on.

That is the best way that I can help others and continue to heal myself-- at the very same time.

Lots of love out there to everyone! This is tough, tough, devastatingly TOUGH stuff.


Wednesday, August 19, 2015

When I'm less judgmental of myself, I'm less judgmental of others

My life-coaching clients are blowing me away already!

So much introspection. 

So much courage. 

They're digging deep and realizing so much about who they really are, what they want, and how they can become agents of positive change in their lives! And they're teaching me invaluable lessons along the way. 

For instance, "K" said the above quote tonight when talking about her own insecurities and discoveries and I was like, "WOAH! Repeat that, please! And can I post it?" 

Bottom line: Self-love, individual worth and confidence are KEY, not only for ourselves, but for who were are in all of our relationships!


*Check my life coaching website {Illume Life} for more details about coaching opportunities*

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

My Name is Bonnie and I have learned to Embrace the Moment.

My Name is Bonnie Lee Mahler and I have learned to Embrace the Moment.

Life is an adventure, full of twists and turns. To this day, I have no regrets about the experiences and the choices that I've made to bring me to where I am today. I honor the past in every way. I've loved, I've lost, I've trusted, I've hurt, I've missed, I've made mistakes, but above all, I've learned! I never would have imagined the path that my life has taken. I have experienced the depths of sorrow and essence of true joy! 

The experience of losing two sons within two years apart has taught me to embrace every moment, for that is all we know for sure. 

In 1996, my husband and I and our 3 sons were on Bear Lake reservoir in Northern Utah. Our family was active in all kinds of outdoor activities and we loved being together. This was a hot August day, a day for adventure before the boys went back to school.

Trevor, 13 years in age and my middle son, was wake boarding and fell into the water. I knew something was wrong, he did not pop up like usual but was facedown in the water, even though he had a lifevest on. As we pulled him up into the boat I was consumed with disbelief of what was happening. I performed CPR as we headed to the dock. Life Flight arrived and flew him to Primary Childrens hospital. After 24 hours on life support my sweet son slipped away. No one can prepare for something like that to happen, and when it does, it is like a nightmare of emotions swirling through your mind. Trevor's death was devastating. I had never felt that kind of pain, my heart was broken. Family and friends rallied around us in this time of sorrow and I felt my angels arms around me, comforting me.

Life goes on, but it is difficult when you are left alone and everyone goes on with their own lives. You are left to hold your head high as you seek to fill that void in your life with positive things. My spiritual awareness began to grow tremendously after the loss of Trevor. I began a journey of spiritual growth, and because of the death that I had just experienced, I had a new level of understanding of life and death.

In 1998 another tragedy hit our little family. I was living the nightmare all over again. I will never forget that sinking feeling in my heart of total helplessness and fear when that phone call came. 

Tyler, my oldest son age 17, was waterskiing for the first time since we had lost Trevor, and had taken a hard fall which led to his drowning. 

Two sons in two years, practically to the day! 

Who would have imagined such a thing? 

I grieved this unimaginable double loss, but my belief system gave me solace. I knew I would see my sons again in another dimension, another time. I honored who they were, what they had brought into my life and what they had taught me in their deaths. I believe that there is purpose in everything and everyone that comes into our lives.

All of us have challenges that come into our lives. Sometimes we create them and sometimes they just happen and we can only choose how we react to them. Honoring and releasing or surrendering to that which "just is" must happen in order to move forward. Having gratitude for what you do have in the moment will bring you closer to more things to be grateful for and you will be able to move forward to greater insight and peace. Live in the present mindfully, with gratitude and embrace it! Every moment can be magical when we are aware and allow our senses to come alive, opening our hearts to all that surrounds us! As a result of this double tragedy in my life, doors opened for me to share a talent and become a Celine Dion tribute artist. 

Music became my healer.  

My Celine act moved forward and I had the special opportunity to meet Celine Dion in Las Vegas at Caesars Palace. I remember distinctly the beautiful energy that she radiated and as we embraced I told her how thankful I was for her and her music, which had inspired not only me, but thousands of others worldwide. Knowing my story she looked at me and said,

"Oh, but it is people like you that inspire me, thank-you." 

I had been blessed to have this experience and I knew I had a story to share.

Life is all about learning, every experience makes us who we are and gives us insight to what what we are becoming. We learn that we are 100% responsible for that which we create in ours lives through choice. I have learned in my life that I can create anything that I desire if I have clear intention of what it is and then have the courage to show up! My mother always said, "The three most important words in the english language are ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE!" She was right! I see now how the attitude of gratitude, passion and courage can move us into amazing things! Ignite that which you have passion for, don't waste one experience. Forgive, Love, and have gratitude, gratitude, gratitude! Having joy and peace in our own lives has a far reaching effect into the lives of our families, friends, churches, communities, nation, and our world.


      Bonnie Lee Mahler is an Entertainer, Wellness and Life coach, NLP and Hypnotherapy
      Author of the book EMBRACE THE MOMENT (available HERE and HERE)
Follow Bonnie on Facebook or on her websites:
*Please remember the purpose of the "My Name is" series is to open our hearts, to interact, to uplift, to support and to grow with one another. Bonnie will be reading your comments and I know she'd love to hear from you… so please feel free to reach out.

**Bonnie, I hold the fondest memories of our families together in the mountains on four-wheelers and having food-fights with the boys atop a houseboat at Lake Powell. Since the time of both of their deaths, I have admired you so greatly and I speak of you, your story, your courage, and your resiliency to many. Tyler and Trevor hold a very special place in my heart, as does your entire family. Thank you for sharing your journey of deep deep loss and AMAZING triumph with my readers today. You are a bright light and I love you!

Read more stories of inspiring women in the "My Name is" series, HERE

Follow My Name is Jacy on FACEBOOK or INSTAGRAM to stay up to date and for future posts :)




Monday, August 17, 2015

The value of 12 and a half cents

I found this on my nightstand last night. A 7 year old's way of apologizing meant a crumpled post it with "sorry" written on it and one hard-earned quarter. 

You see, Little Dude hasn't been listening very well lately and tonight, after growing very frustrated because of it, we had a "family meeting" to talk about it. I sat right next to him as he reflected his recent choices, and we talked about how it's disrespectful and selfish to deliberately disobey parents, teachers, etc. We then asked what he thought a reasonable consequence would be? 

"Um" he said with a quiet voice, "No iPad for the rest of my life?" 

Seth told him why that was actually an unreasonable consequence, but that he was on the right track. 

"Mom's iPad is a privilege, not a right, and you'll need to earn time on it. Your choices and behavior will tell us loud and clear when it is time…" 

Almost immediately his spirit chippered right up, he smiled and hugged us both and made his way upstairs to bed. 10 minutes later, I found this little {but huge} gem on my nightstand and I smiled a big momma smile... Because while he was listening to LEARN from us, I was learning to LISTEN to him. 

It's hard, but man!, it's glorious when we find little victories like this along the way!

We don't have it figured out in the slightest... But these moments are just so precious to me... Because I think maybe, just maybe, I'm getting some things right.

A few minutes later, as I tucked him into bed, I thanked him for the thoughtful gesture and he said, "Please split the quarter with dad, okay?" 

12 and a half cents may not seem like much, but it felt more valuable than GOLD!

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

My Name is Ashley and I am Carrying Miracles as a Surrogate

My name is Ashley and I am carrying miracles as a surrogate.

My husband and I have been very blessed with two healthy, beautiful daughters. Our lives changed dramatically when we began a family and couldn’t imagine life without them now.

June of 2014 our second daughter turned one, which was exciting yet naturally we started discussing the potential of future children. After much prayer and consideration, we both felt strongly that at this time in our lives, our family was complete. Yet, the thought of not being pregnant again was a little disappointing. Crazy to some, I know, but being pregnant is fairly easy for me. I was ready to be pregnant again I just wasn’t ready for another little one quite yet.

So I brought up the topic of surrogacy.

A few years back we had discussed this possibility and we both felt that it would be a great experience someday in our future. The thought of not being able to carry or have my own children would be devastating. I have seen friends and family struggle with getting pregnant and having to go to extreme, long measures to have a family of their own. I couldn't help but recognize that I have a great gift and had a strong desire to give to a family with this need.

It finally felt like the right time for our family to start looking into the process more. I found an incredible agency close by in Portland, Oregon and after filling out a questionnaire, we set up an interview.

After that meeting, we felt more confident in our decision to move forward with this process. I couldn’t deny the feeling of knowing there was a family that was waiting for us to help them!

The next few months consisted of background checks, medical records reviewed, psychological evaluation, questionnaires, and a profile set up.

We then began the wait for a family.

I honestly thought my list for the future Intended Family I wanted to join this journey with, was sort of long and possibly hard to come by. I knew we would have to be patient!

One week later - We were matched!

Merav and Moshe live in Israel with their three beautiful daughters. Merav had many complications with her pregnancies and emergency deliveries. After conceiving her third child through IVF, her doctor told her she would no longer be able to carry anymore children. Although being pregnant wasn’t easy, this was still devastating to say the least. They knew they were to have more children. So began their journey of looking at the many options in expanding their own family. After many years of heartbreak and emotional roller coasters, a friend lead them to right where they are today.

As I was reading the families profile, I was amazed how much more real this journey was becoming. There were so many things about the family that I absolutely loved and couldn't have imagined a better fit.

Then it hit me.

This was going to be a life changing decision. There are many more people that will be affected by this journey, not just me. My husband, my children, the intended family and all the extended families involved. For me, this was not a transaction sort of a deal. This was going to be a connection that we wanted for a lifetime not just a temporary experience and relationship.

My husband and I both knew without a doubt this was the family we were going to help! A couple days later, the agency had us come in and we were able to meet the family over Skype.

It felt very natural!

Then something unexpected started happening. While driving home, I couldn't help but feel a deeper connection with my husband. For the first time that I could recall, we weren't talking about what he wanted, what I wanted, what the girls wanted but rather what this family needed. We were serving this family and it was connecting us in a deeper, more loving, selfless way. Something I least expected from this journey.

The blessings this journey has brought into my life are countless.

I was then connected with another surrogate, Stacie, that delivered boy/girl twins for an Israeli family last summer. She has easily become one of my closest friends and one of my biggest cheerleaders! I could not imagine not having her along this journey as a part of my support system! I am grateful everyday for meeting her and cherish our special friendship through carrying dreams for other families!

Before we knew it, we were on our way to helping this family!

The months following consisted of prenatal, birth control, antibiotics, aspirin, daily lupron injections, weekly delestrogen injections, daily progesterone injections and a lot of heat and ice!

February 17th, 2015 was a big day for Merav and Moshe. It would be the day we would transfer two of their embryo’s! Everything about that day was perfect! I felt so honored to be able to help this amazing family while in return blessing my life.

We found out we were pregnant the following week and couldn’t wait for the 6 week ultrasound to see how many of the embryo’s were there!

Sure enough - TWINS! One Girl & One Boy!

Everyday has been an adventure! Merav and I speak and Skype frequently throughout the week. Naturally she has become a very good friend. The beginning of June, they flew me out to Israel to meet the entire family. An experience I probably would never have had if it were not for this special journey. In the ten days that I spent there, I experienced so many amazing places, delicious food and quality time with this wonderful family!

With just 12 weeks or less until the arrival of these sweet babies, my heart is overwhelmed with love and pure excitement when I think of that special day. I enjoy teaching my children the act of service and selflessness. They love sharing with everyone they meet what their mommy is doing for this family in Israel. 

I hope one day they learn that as we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our best selves and our own true happiness. 

*Please remember the purpose of the "My Name is" series is to open our hearts, to interact, to uplift, to support and to grow.  Ashley will be reading the comments and I know she'd love to hear from you :)

Read more stories of inspiring women in the "My Name is" series, HERE

Follow My Name is Jacy on FACEBOOK or INSTAGRAM to stay up to date and for future posts :) 


Tuesday, August 4, 2015


4 years ago I got a "wink and a cheesy message" from this guy on MATCH.COM. 

I think he said something like, "I just wanted to let you know I think you're cute" :)

Little did we know that, together, we'd create a home, blend a family, make a baby, and be one another's very best friend. After 4 years of a lot of happy times, a lot of tears, a lot of dreaming and planning for the future, a lot of tough conversations, a lot of consistency and predictability (from him), a LOT of patience (from him, again, because I be cray cray at times ), a lot of kindness, a lot of understanding, a lot of empathy, a lot of flexibility, and a helluvah lot of love... I think we are kinda sorta starting to figure it out. 

You see, people talk so much about some ideal, perfect love that is effortless and easy; a love that you just "fall into". Well, in my opinion, that's just a bunch of bologna and not realistic at all. TRUE love takes a lot of hard work! It's not about falling into it, it's about BUILDING IT UP! 

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